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Have you ever caught yourself thinking the same thing over and over? Have you noticed your thoughts coming back to a similar pattern or centered on the same theme? Have you seen them sabotage your yearning to live freely and fully?
The Emotional Habit we discussed in the last post comes from the heart center. In a similar way, the mind center revolves around the Mental Fixation, reinforcing the type structure within our thoughts.
The Mental Fixation is the direction our thoughts automatically run to further our motivation. It bolsters any thoughts that concern reaching our Desperate Desire and amplifies the voice of the Frantic Fear. It leans into the Focus of Attention and helps solidify the blinders. The theme the Mental Fixation loops back to is closely related to the Emotional Habit. As they work together, they create a soundtrack that intensifies the Unanswered Longing and the type structure responds with new tactics and strategies. We are often not aware of our Mental Fixation because it feels like the familiar ticker tape that runs through our minds like a news anchor reading the same headlines with only subtle changes.
The Mental Fixation is the filter through which we process external experiences and the narrator for how we discern internally.
You are more than your Mental Fixation, but it will stick your thoughts in an unforgiving spiral if you don’t take control of it.
“Fixation” may feel like a strong word, but its definition of being “preoccupied with one subject, issue, etc; an obsession” (dictionary.com) is accurate. The one subject is “Self” and the obsession is “what I think I need to do/be/feel/think to be fully known and fully loved.” It truly believes it’s serving us, never realizing that this preoccupation causes a flurry of unproductive energy in the mind, often resulting in self-sabotage.
Pause a moment. Where are your background thoughts headed? What goal are they serving? Does your mind run on a racetrack with no finish line? Or perhaps on a wandering path with no end in sight? Does it feel impossible to take control of the direction of thought?
When working with clients, I focus more on “interruption and shift” rather than “radical change.” I’m convinced that small shifts in habits will be longer lasting than overnight willpower-based transformations. But it always, always starts with that catch. As we observe how we circle our Mental Fixation, we can interrupt the flow and make a conscious choice to shift the direction. So much easier said than done – these grooves are deeply ingrained. But don’t give up! Each small shift is teaching your type structure to not rely on your Mental Fixation, and to live more fully and freely instead.
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Mental Fixations (and how they sound) by Enneagram Type
One: Resentment – can sound like, “Why didn’t they take my suggestions? Why is everything so wrong? That was unfair! What will fall apart if I can’t do it? No one does it my the right way! I hate that I’m so wrong.”
Two: Flattery – can sound like, “I should tell them how great they are so they’ll return the compliment. I’m going to tell them what a joy it was to help them so they’ll thank me. I’m proud of myself for meeting their needs; it’d be nice if they appreciated it. I’m so worthless.”
Three: Vanity – can sound like, “I am the best! Look at how amazing I am! That didn’t work the way I wanted it to – cover it, spin it, quick! I hope they can’t see through me. How close am I to my goal? I should be doing more. I’m such a fraud.”
Four: Melancholy – can sound like, “No one understands. Do they even try? They didn’t get me – again. Why didn’t they think to invite me? Disappointed. Frustrated. What else is new? If only I could ___, then I would be seen/understood/special. I am so broken and ordinary.”
Five: Stinginess – can sound like, “There’s not enough. I couldn’t possibly give what they’re asking for. I must conserve resources. I can’t. What more do they want? How much will that cost me? How can I avoid interruptions? I need to get away. I’m so overwhelmed.”
Six: Cowardice/Anxiety – can sound like, “What if?? I have to get out of here! I don’t know! There’s too much to prepare for – where do I start? No one knows what it’s like in my head. It’s all swirling together. What do you think?? I doubt everything.”
Seven: Planning/Impatience – can sound like, “That sounds fun! Let’s do that. Or that. Or that! What about this? I can’t wait! I’m so bored. Is it always this blah? What would spice this up? I want to try that! Will I enjoy that? I can’t stop, won’t stop, can’t let it catch me. What was I saying? I won’t be limited!”
Eight: Vengeance – can sound like, “They won’t get away with that. I can’t let my guard down. Don’t you dare! Who do they think they are? Respond! That was unjust! Time to take action! Ha – as if they could hurt me. Nothing hurts me. I am so tired of being strong.”
Nine: Indolence/Inertia – can sound like, “I don’t have the energy. I’d rather not. It doesn’t make a difference. Can I take a nap? I should go. That takes too much effort. Why can’t everyone calm down? What do they prefer? I’d rather not share my opinion, thank you. It’d be nice if I thought I mattered.”
There are so many tactics and strategies that these Mental Fixations generate. While you may not see your Mental Fixation exercised in the same way another person of your type, it will always come back to thinking __________ in order to serve our motivations.
Keep observing. Keep asking why. And then ask yourself, “Is this really what it will take for me to be fully known and fully loved?” The more we sit with it, the more we feel the Mental Fixation’s grip loosen.
One step closer to freedom.
